For some time now, I have been troubled by a blight on my environment. Upon disembarking from the T at the Longwood stop in Brookline, Massachusetts, one is immediately confronted with a monstrosity known as "The Longwood Towers - an Avalon Community." As the name so evocatively hints, this is a ghastly housing complex modeled on some sort of vaguely medieval theme, with little turrets and parapets and the like. In the front, blue awnings direct one to the "Ballroom" and the "Veronique Restaurant;" in the rear, a gently sloping lawn is peppered with "No Trespassing" signs. The entire structure gives off the reek of money with nothing better to do. Clearly some development committee sat down, whipped out their bulging and greasy checkbooks, and bandied about words like "luxury units" and "classic" and "market share" and "rich suckers," and the Longwood Towers were born, thudding onto the horizon with a mighty "Oomph!" of alleged Good Taste.
The fact of the matter is, however, that The Longwood Towers are not tasteful. They are ugly. They are too shiny and too clean. Someone has spiffed them up so that they look newly minted. They sport faux arrow slits. They represent stodginess and insularity and lips pursed in disapproval. Therefore, Josh and I have taken up the mission of teaching a lesson about the vagaries of taste to the Longwood's occupants. We propose to invade their territory with a steady stream of the icons of alleged 'Bad Taste.' Pink flamingos installed on the lawn in the night. Plastic clotheslines flung over the wall. White Castle wrappers peeping from the trash. Our hope is to show residents that fancy doohickeys and a high price tag do not denote taste; that in flocking like sheep towards the promise of showy affluence, they have committed a worse crime against taste than any trailer inhabitant; and that medieval castles do not work unless they are a) old and crumbly or b) made of cardboard or plastic and used during games of Pretend.
If any Leisure Agents wish to participate, we would welcome the following:
1) Strategic assistance.
2) Manpower for recon expeditions.
3) Donations of lawn ornaments, night vision goggles, or black ski masks.
4) Bail money.
Down with "Good Taste," my Leisurely comrades!
Longwood Towers links:
Business article on the Longwood.
Realty listing with photos and floor plans.
The Veronique Restaurant.
Wait, it used to be a luxury residential hotel? FASCINATING! That's the kind of place you put up a mistress or an unwanted toddler with her English nanny, not establish a condo committee.
Posted by: Agent Courtney on February 7, 2003 03:59 PM