December 14, 2002

Sassy

Today needs some sassy jokes, lest I end up just giving up and going back to bed. I have chosen the format of "Hey, you! The _________ called, it wants its _________ back" for today's jokes. Because this is my blog and I like that sort of thing, you get extra points for overly elaborate, cumbersome jokes. Here are mine:

Hey, Human Race: the snails called, they want their pace back.

Hey, Face: my teenage years called, they want their complexion back.

Hey, Stop & Shop Shoppers: the blow-up dolls called, they want their vacuous stares back.

Hey, Stop & Shop Cashiers: the Empire State Building called, it wants its ability to destroy objects by dropping them from a great height back.

Hey, Layout Designers of Trader Joe's: the Overlook Hotel called, it wants its maze back.

Hey, Driveway: Lake Erie called, it wants its water back.

Hey, Ceiling: Swiss Cheese called, it wants its holes back.

Hey, Bedroom: musty tombs called, they want their stench back.

Hey, Ambition: Kelly Clarkson's notoriety called, it wants its tendency to rapidly diminish back.

Now you play!

Posted by hilatron at December 14, 2002 07:55 PM
Comments

Hey teeth! Corn called! It wants its yellow back.

Hey stomach! Canadian Bacon called. It wants its fat back!

Hey Fear Factor! Primordial slime called! It wants its disgustingness back!

Hey International House of Pancakes! Death Row called! It wants its desperation and angst back!

Whew...gettin' tired. This is HARD. How do you do it?

Posted by: Miel at December 16, 2002 01:10 AM

Hey Jay Leno, the chinese phone book called, it want its Chin section back.

Hey sky, Antarctica called, it wants its weather back.

Hey Christmas shoppers, Pamplona called, they want their trampling bulls back.

Wow, that is harder than it looks.

Posted by: dan at December 17, 2002 12:36 AM

It is hard, is it not? I was all "oh, I'm so filled with pent-up bitterness and I always think of the perfect zinger after the fact, I can roll out ten or fifteen of these, no problem!" but all I could come up with was those you see above, and that was a struggle. How do the whippersnappers on the streetcorner do it?

Thanks for playing, you two!

Posted by: Hilatron at December 17, 2002 10:10 AM

Stop Telling Jokes, For the GOOD OF MANKIND PLEASE STOP!!!

Posted by: u suck at July 7, 2004 08:37 PM

Hey Star Wars prequels, Star Trek called. It wants its cheesy acting and dialog back.

Hey George W. Bush, various German leaders called. They want their tendency to invade countries back.

Hey Microsoft, Standard Oil called. It wants its business strategy back.

Posted by: slashdotter at July 8, 2004 04:11 AM